Online Status Updater Prints

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"The oracle demands the sacrifice of a virgin or an update of its operating system."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Here's a great software update. It lets me delete all the features that I didn't want from the last update."

Working on updates. 11% complete. Don't turn off your computer.

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

Heaven Has VIP

Mammon Industries - "He says his name is Billy and he's here to update our software."

"Sorry, but I have to let you all go. I'm getting all of my presents online now."

"Definitely time for an upgrade."

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

'That's what you get for not updating acrobat reader.'

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

'I'd love to be in Who's Who.'

'People want to work with city firms, they trust us, they're impressed by the offices...the status!'

"Yes the view is nice, but I mostly want people to look up here and think how rich I am."

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

Robber trying to break into an online account.