Online Security Skeptic Prints

'You've forgotten your password again then!'

UK border controls relaxed.

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Down With Wikipedia

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Your DNA is in the database.

'I think your firewall is turned up too high!'

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

Username/Password

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

This homeland security is getting out of hand.

"That'll keep them out."

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

"No, as of yet, they are not on the internet!"