Online Researcher T-Shirts

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

'Do you mind if I get a second opinion off the internet?'

According to the internet Harry's growth was a lucky four-leaf-clover wart.

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"And how do you feel when your patient does online research and thinks he's an expert?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Fear/Knowledge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the scribe"