Online Privacy Pundit Pillows

"Is this a trick question?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

'More government surveillance!'

"Fact amnesty"

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

A Failiure to Communicate

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'...This summit may be recorded for NSA training purposes!'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'I think its being tapped.'

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Computer password.

'I see that you have two sisters and like the beatles, I predict that you will graduate in 2012,,,'

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

But It's So Easy

"On the bright side, the NSA is done tracking you."

"You know, the doorway is never going to get popular until somebody invents the door."

'I got tattoos of all my passwords.'

"Here's the problem -- your fourth wall is broken. That's why you keep seeing all those people out there."

Airport security - next step?

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Things you should know about...

We respect your privacy, which is why we make it so hard for you to keep...I'm Ok with that.

"Clean your browser history, mate?"

"No, I'm not backing up our files–I'm just assuming that the F.B.I. is making copies."

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

'Under the new privacy law, you can't tell me any of your symptoms.'

National Secrecy Agency.

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'