Online Love Optimizer Mugs

"Maybe you should consider revising your dating profile, 'Mr. Multi millionaire, of Guildford'."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

Online Dating for Dummies

Looks like all your Facebook friends sent you holiday greetings cards.

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

Make love not war

'We were matched by computer.'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'George and I met on line!'

"I'd like to meet the algorithm that thought we'd be a good match."

Archers.

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'Jeremy and I have decided to take our online relationship to a new level - real life.'

"I googled you and I'm not interested."

Online Dating

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

'This is to strengthen mutual trust.'

'I never kiss on the first date.'

I met him online.

'Wow - you're even prettier than your picture on 'Date'Em.com!''

"Yes, dear, I like the idea of repeating our vows — but let's change some stuff."

"Today, we examined our life styles, we evaluated our diet and our exercise program, and we also assessed our behavioral patterns. Then we felt we needed a drink."

Simplify Your Life Conference, 1,000s of Exhibits.

'We may have to adjust the gastric band a little.'

'So, what'll it take to put you in a new life today?'

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

Noah's Ark: "It worked for the others."

New Year: Peace, Justice, Love

I decided to simplify my life!