Love Optimizer Mugs

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Real Estate Personals

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"My aloofness is a mask."

Make love not war

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

Wait

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

Tunnel of Life and Love

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"That's your tiny house!"

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'We've been happily married for five years, but we've been married for eight.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

'I prefer it this way.'