Love Optimizer Mugs

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

Real Estate Personals

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Make love not war

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

"My aloofness is a mask."

Castle Efficiency

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"I've had many men in this town darling, but many men have not had me."

"That's your tiny house!"

'We've been happily married for five years, but we've been married for eight.'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Tunnel of Life and Love

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

'I prefer it this way.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."