Online Interaction Specialist T-Shirts

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

'Something that'll get me googled,'

"You've got web feet"

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

Jimi Hendrix Website - PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

Social Networks

"So I'm assuming it's not always a good thing when a tweet goes viral."

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

'We met online, but we don't seem able to take our relationship to the next level.'

"I’ve only been able to find movies, music, and restaurants that I kind of like using apps, but I’m hoping they’ll lead me to the love of my life."

No one said anything about blogging …

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

Weapons of Mass Comparison

Senior Chat Rooms.

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

'Since you got your laptop you lost your lap.'