Online Ethics Seeker Pillows

Twitter: 'The Coward's Charter'

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Squeezing the Free Press.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

The Price of Freedom

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

"According to national law you're innocent but national law counts less than. . ."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'