Online Discussion Champion Gifts

"Many years ago during the Brexit debate, your grandfather was one of the greatest keyboard warriors of his time."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

The Proust of Twitter

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

The First Asshole

"I learned my social skills on social media. . . what's it to you anyway you stupid cow?!"

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

Unsocial Networking.

"I can tell you about this article or you can just read the comments online."

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Oh no! What's wrong? I tweeted a sarcastic insult about Brian Blount, my nemesis in the race for class president. So? So … the sarcasm didn't come through. All my followers think I was praising him. Oh. Yeah, well sarcasm's tricky online. Oh no! My followers are confused about where my loyalties lie. Oh no! Some of them are calling me a sellout. They're saying they're disillusioned! Oh no! Now they've split into two factions, those who say I'm a sellout and those who say maybe Brian Blount isn't

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Every man and his dog gets to have an opinion on social media.

"You don't need to be anti-white to be pro-black."

Maybe Those Bots Can Be Used for Good

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

"It's the first law of social media."

"If God had meant for man to interact rationally He wouldn't have given them internet forums."

"You never told me what you thought of 'Wolverine.'" "I was waiting." "For what?" "For the consensus." "My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict." "If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid."

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"Bile exits the gallbladder, passes through the cystic duct, gets released into the intestines, and, ultimately, winds up on the Internet."

"I've got about 20 pages of questionable internet comments here."

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"Can't you express your outrage through hate comments? Your clothing consumption is getting expensive!"