Online Dating Journey Pillows

'It seems we've both been a bit imaginative in creating our online profiles.'

You have: 2,010,597 matches

"It turns out there was a computer error – we weren't made for each other after all."

Frank's endless supply of cheap dates.

'Another for our 'GSOH' file.'

'I think I would get along really well with someone as disagreeable as me.'

"I posted dozens of cat pictures on social media to meet women. Then one dated me and ran off with my cat."

Women Seeking Men

I met him online.

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Your Tinder profile says you're a good listener."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Your website or mine?'