Online Dating Detective Mugs

'As you're a lawyer could you tell me how to sue a dating website for false representation.'

"Your profile didn't mention this."

'Don't look now, Kevin. But I think you're being googled.'

"On the internet you said you were 32."

Right click for yes...

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"It all happened so fast. I met him online three years ago."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"Before we take this any further, I'd like us to open about our internet history."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'I'm in trouble now, I told this cute little terrier that I was a pedigree and now she wants to see my kennel club papers'

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"There's something you should know about me."

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'