Online Dating Coach T-Shirts

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

'...Do you, Thomas, take Charleen as your wife, to love and cherish, for better of worse...use Rehab as may be needed...for as long as you both shall live?'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

cuPad

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Everybody meets online these days."