Online Culture Critic Gifts

"I can still select how I'm feeling when I post, but my options have been reduced to self-righteous and narcissistic."

OMG, we're all going to be butterflies – stop calling her an influencer.

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Somebody has been giving my porridge one-and-a-half-star reviews also!"

"When I was growing up, we had a crazy lady in town who always spread rumors and gave bad advice! I think she invented the internet."

'I think this is the primordial ooze that eventually gave rise to life on the internet.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'You are accused of internet fraud. How do you wish to blog?'

Fanaticism in social networks

"Every night my neighbour turns into a hate commenting Internet troll... I much prefer this werewolf thing."

"It's a sign of the times - I get death threats just calling the numbers."

Tramp's Sign reads 'Follow me on Facebook'.

The height of fashion in 1796

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"Say 'eh.'"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

Twitter that!

Cheer up – at least #et_tu is trending.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"How is it in Russia?"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

"I'm after the history section."

"Fact amnesty"

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"