Onion Conqueror T-Shirts

Cutting onions

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Planting a Flag on the Summit

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

Crop duster wanted.

Access Denied!

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

No U Turn.

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

A giant crowd, both in line for coffee and airport security.

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

'Hey,everybody - Shower time!'

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

"Remember, when I called for an appointment, I told you I had this huge fear of falling."

"Thank you for your enthusiastic but WRONG example of cursive writing."

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... invent a popcorn machine that pops all of the kernels!?

Commands Respect

Deodorant for Compost.

'Wow, this is a lot better!'

'We feel that being one step ahead of the competition is no longer an adequate buffer zone.'

'You the new man?'

"Leave us alone! I am a behavior therapist! I am helping my patient overcome a fear of heights!"

McAlistar's aim was true.

'Turbulence!'

"One day, I will catch the koi fish that nibbled my left leg."

Conquering Fear of Heights Championships