Oncology T-Shirts

'No thanks, I recently gave them up.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Good game."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Football Fans

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Cry babies.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'My feet are killing me.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Santa Claus's Mail

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"