Olympics Gifts

'It's a fantastic design, but I'm worried that after the games it'll just end up as a useless load of stone with no legacy potential.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'We're in luck! Not a word about steroids.'

Safe Olympic Events

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

Two men holding Olympic torches run in opposite directions

Sign reading 'Welcome to the North Pole. Site of the 2036 Summer Olympics'.

'All Dressage tickets have gone, but I managed to get two for Beach Volleyball instead.'

Olympics create interest in curling.

Athletes' Income

The sadness of the 'Geographically Challenged' - 'Greece is hosting the Olympics? Cool! Is it the summer or winter games?'

Olympic village with boy selling urine samples outside.

'And the gold medal for the best 'victory dance' has been awarded to...'

Pierre de Coubertin - Founder of the Modern Olympics

Beijing 2022

'Never mind that...I want you back in the office in five.'

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

Three legged triple jumper.

'Thank goodness those bloody games are over. Maybe now they'll put something decent on the telly.'

The Fart-a-thon.

"It'll be something to watch during the next lockdown."

Bejing Olympics 2008

'Doug is determined to make it into the U.S. bobsled team for the 2014 Olympics.'

"He talked too much."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

Bed bug infestation in France

Olympic Climate

'Remember: it's not the winning, it's the taking your cut.'

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

'He's going for gold alright! FOOL'S GOLD!'

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"I'm dating an Olympic gymnast!"

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.

It's okay -- I'm training for the 2020 Olympics.