Old-world Romantic T-Shirts

An Appreciation

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Everybody meets online these days."

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'He Will!'

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

"Oh, he's so romantic."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

Old-fashioned computer

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

Tom slowly started to realize that romantic gestures of the early 90's didn't work anymore.

'Oh, the amenity!'

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

Phrenological matrimonial bureau

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

All those years of marriage and they still get emotional on Valentines Day.

when we were younger we were at it like rabbits, now we're more like humans.

Daisy Bates and Harry Morant.

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"Heavens! I'd better rush home. my phone may be ringing."

"Fine – if they all want to meet online, screw them."

"Redwood or oak?"

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

Victorian bachelors leering over woman.

"Is there an emojis that says 'remember when we used to have a cocktail and conversation before dinner?'"