Old Testament Thinker Pillows

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

Thomas Cranmer

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

'Get an afterlife!'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Horseshoes...Samson-style

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'