Old-school Texter Prints

John's Early Attempts at Direct Messaging Proved Futile.

Gen-Next Library

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Wild West Text Showdown

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'With government cyber snooping, we must communicate through channels no one would ever suspect...the postal service.'

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

Man reads book entitled: TXTRS DGEST.

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

'I just got text-heckled!'

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

Valentine's Day texting

"We've been avoiding it for way to long. We really need to have a face-to-face text."

"I just got a text from my teenage daughter. Do you speak emoji?"

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

"We're actually gossiping at a water cooler instead of on social media. Does this make us hipsters?"

Personal Air Bag.

The Island of People Who Never Get Back to You

"He overcame his vow of silence by texting on his phone."

"I know it's a ransom note, but it's just so refreshing to get a handwritten letter these days."

"So dad, you do know all that stuff happened yesterday, right?"

'I feel useless: My Master has cancelled his newspaper subscription and reads his news online now...'