Old-school Humor Lover Pillows

'The doctor doesn't like computers, he prefers to lose patients' records the old fashioned way.'

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

You can't get what up

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

The Enemy

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I'd like to donate my body to comedy."

Two Soldiers and a Navvy.

Man saying he does not want his ale thick because he is not hungry

"I suggest you get off your tuffet more, and eat less curds and whey, Miss Muffet."

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

'Shall we join the ladies?'

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."