Old Age Milestone T-Shirts

"Honestly, I only by gas $10 at a time."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Church Basement Foodie

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"The cape comes off too."

"You're right, they are statins."

"It makes you look old."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Medication for the elderly

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

'They want your underwear.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Take this drug...you'll be ten years younger.'

Healthy.

Who's Dead

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)