Offline Aficionado Pillows

'He won't email, text or tweet. He's so inaccessible!'

"Bliss, another day of google not being able to steal our data..."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Twister:Rural Social Networking

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

Tasty.

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

Wifi Peacock

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

"She gets her musical ability from me."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

"If you want to know why I fired you, you can subscribe to my blog."

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

"Isn't that false advertising?"

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"Eat those veggies or I'll change the wifi password."

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

'Today we learned if it ain't on Google, it ain't worth knowing.'

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."