Office-supply Bandit Pillows

'The trouble with being self-employed is you can't nick office supplies!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'I told you I'd deal with your transfer request, Jenkins. Cut the deck!'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"That happens sometimes, when people borrow my pen and leave the cap off"

'This may be an old computer, but it won the football office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Crumple this into a little ball, will you?"

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

Crime section.

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

Plagiarism

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

"Sure, elephants never forget, but sometimes we can use a little help."

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

'Yes, yours is a myopic cell.'

"Well sir, items stolen were; document folders, filing cabinets and labelling machines. . ."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'Give me all your free pens too!'

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

"It's almost back-to-school time. Steal some office supplies."

Help! Sold Short - And Where Did It Get Me?

Man surrounded by paperclips - 'He just saw them as part of his salary...'

'Yes, he does tend to overcharge a bit.'

"Anybody got a pen that works?"

Talking Books: "Stop thief...!"

Crime section in a library.

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

Odd Moments in Computer History: Fred came up with a creative solution when he ran out of continuous forms.