Office Supply Hoarder Pillows

'Give me all your free pens too!'

Man surrounded by paperclips - 'He just saw them as part of his salary...'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

'All right! Who's got my bloody stress ball?'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

Pencil sharpeners in hell

"When I opened my cupboards at home they were full of junk food, when I opened my mailbox it was full of junk mail. I'm always afraid to open my portfolio balance."

"If we get a bigger place, we'll just accumulate more giraffes."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"Hey, Lenny, can you spare a rubber band?"

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

2020

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

Dramatic lighting in the drama department.

'It's my favorite Christmas gift - a wireless computer mouse that looks just like my old fountain pen!'

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

Junk Mail.

"Honey, are you hoarding lawyers again?"

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

"Sure, elephants never forget, but sometimes we can use a little help."

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'If it's my food supply for the winter then its different from hoarding.'

'It's from a company in California -- they want you to design a line of refrigerator magnets.'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

"We saved all your old diapers."

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"Well sir, items stolen were; document folders, filing cabinets and labelling machines. . ."

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'