Office Strategists T-Shirts

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'We laid off too many people. Our only real revenue came from the employee parking lot.'

HB Fillmond - A great entrepreneur and capitalist/CD Hainsmore - Always knew who to hitch his wagon to...

"That's Ben. He's utterly ruthless and calculation, but in a nice, midwestern sort of way."

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

"They might tell you that starting out down here is standard procedure, but it isn't."

"That's a great idea, Ben. I can hardly wait to take all the credit."

"By a clear majority of the board, Peter is this year's designated executive-on-the-rise who flies to close to the sun and then crashes spectacularly to Earth, conveniently diverting media and public attention from the rest of us!"

'Edouard Fortuney III here. How may I one-up you?'

'It's lonely at the top.'

'I've gotten by on imaginative and innovative thinking. In other words, I make it up as I go along.'

"...I think this is because we forgot to hire some workers."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Career opportunities

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'