Office Sketch Lover Pillows

"Is that blood spatter from the last meeting?"

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'You can drop all the hints you like, Jones. We're not buying you a computer.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

'I give this one about three months...'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

The World's First Electronic Paperweight

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'