Office Poltico Gifts

"You'll fit right in. You have a great sense of rumor."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"