Office Party Pillows

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

'...any other business?'

Effective communications

CEO and COO.

"I like it!"

Urine Catcher

Walt's train of thought left at 9:05. He wasn't on it.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"And to help you spearhead the new office efficiency drive I'm giving you this atlatl."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'It's mine and you can't have it.' Morris was finding it more difficult than most to adjust to the concept of a 'paperless' office.'

'Frankly, I'm not sure this whole idea-sharing thing is working.'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'Let's begin our meeting. . . everybody talk, nobody listen.'

'We believe in making use of all the available space.'

'I used to lead by example, but it was too much work.'

Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

'Why do I have to go first?' 'There's no I in team Dave.'

'We found the donut to be more of an incentive for him.'

'I'll start with the weekly progress report. Ms. London, on my right, will act as acronym and jargon translator.'

No, Smith, that's NOT why they're called 'Spreadsheets'.

Chinese Whispers In The Boardroom

"I take the fun out of everything. What do you do?"

'But you have to admit management's commitment to quality is working.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

Teleworking was the death of the office party.

'Yes Sir, I finished the report two days ago - I'm just trying to decide on what font to use.'

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'Okay, let's bring this meeting to order.'

"Hey, it's good to finally put a face to the obnoxious emails."

'That's our mission statement.'