Office Leasing Pillows

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Lumbar support animal

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Between Offices

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'