Office Ghost Pillows

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Paranormal A-Z...

Ghost School.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I feel your pain."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

Lumbar support animal

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"