Office Equipment Prints

A quill pen in case the computer crashes.

'It's also a printer, scanner, phone and fax machine.'

'That's a fax machine. The older guys use it to send messages.'

"The shredder ate my homework."

STRIP Hambone: What's the difference between these two?

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

"A P.C. is a P.C....a Copier is a Copier...and never the twain shall meet!"

"Tell the press we'll have more in the merger when someone fixes our printer."

"This is weird. Our new account rep is requesting a chair."

"Oh yes, I'm very adept at using office machines. I can operate soda machines, candy machines, coffee machines..."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Computer Bore

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

That shows business confidence.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Lumbar support animal

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

Joust Sharpener

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

'Dog eat dog.'