Office Entertainer Gifts

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

Thanks to his leadership, morale was on the upswing.

'Hurry with the balloons. We must get a more festive atmosphere.'

"Dr. Plum is a bit of an extrovert. He works better with people around."

Rand McNally's cartography department enjoys a spirited, after-hours game of charades.

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

"Miss Windham, I wonder if you would mind stepping in here and joining me in a thirtieth-anniversary chorus or two of 'Blowin' in the Wind'?"

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

"Congratulations on your entertaining presentation skills Smith, and the way they hide your dismal sales figures!"

'Piping music over the P.A. system isn't working out quite the way we thought it would.'

'Anyone opposed will signify by handing in his resignation.'

'I missed work due to a rib injury from belly-laughing at your jokes.'

What did you think of my presentation?

"She's good because she is our bookkeeper."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"The drums, Melissa, the drums of passion, they beat for you."

"Let me do all the singing."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....