Office Emissaries T-Shirts

"Sounds like fun. Can I bring an acolyte?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Inclusive speech

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Career Choices

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Office meeting

"If I can't get a firm decision, I'd accept a wobbly acquiescence."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

HR - Helping Relationships

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''