Office Culture Warrior Pillows

"Just when the glass ceiling's become the glass floor we have to worry about upskirting."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"At this office no two days are different."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'These are job perks.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.