Office Chessmaster T-Shirts

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Prawn Amend

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

Existential Risk

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

AIDS prevention

Trojan Chess

'Some game dog you are. That's the fifth time in a row you've fallen for the King's Gambit.'

Bored Baker

Chess on TV

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

Pawn Stars

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Chess player looking dazed playing computer,"He's crashed."

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

Cat chess