Office Chess Masters Mugs

"Jyoti, Jyoti, Jyoti… Power is a dangerous thing. Leave it to me."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Multi-tasking.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

AIDS prevention

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

Existential Risk

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

'There goes JB, still unflappable.'

"Gentleman, come in! Come in! Let me take your company."

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Chess on TV

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

Security Dept. Keep. Out.

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

'When you said we were going clubbing, I didn't know you meant History Club, Chess Club and Math Club.'

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

'Between you and me, it's a public relations move. I fire you, then bring you back as a consultant.'

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'I'm not here to blame. I'm here to help others blame.'

"How do you expect to learn to be a good loser when you win all the time?"

"He called it a 'retreat,' but it looked more like a SCAMPER to me."

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,

'Your turn.'

"In this latest reorganization, each department is assigned a graphic icon. So, to understand your new place in the hierarchy, just remember that paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, and scissors cut paper!"