Office Breaks Mugs

"This is our company's smoking area..."

"I like my coffee hot, black and delicious. Ah well, two out of three ain't bad."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Working Holiday

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

Temporarily Unavailable

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

'You've had enough.'

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'We're having an energy crisis of sorts. The coffee machine is broken.'

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

I'd rather be at the office.

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

Out to Scrunch.

'I think we should consider hiring a consultant to share the blame.'

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

Peaceful holiday

"I work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to resign."

'You dunk your donuts your way...'

The Smug Unemployed Monkey