Office Break Jester Mugs

Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"