Office Behavior Gifts

Casual Sex Fridays.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Copycats

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Storm in the out tray

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."