Odor Ninja Pillows

Spray-on Odorant

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

That party went well.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Propping up a profits chart.

"We need a better piling system."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

'Gimme all your cache!'

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

IRS tax instructions.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."