Odor Enthusiasts Prints

'He put 'odor eaters' in his shoes this morning.'

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Cheese Secret

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

"Great Perfume!"

"Why waste money on perfume when his favorite scent is stuffed pork chops?"

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Yeah, it's completely irrational, but the smell of freshly baked bread makes me salivate too..."

LOVENUTS: 'We were irresistibly attracted to each other's smells,' says Jo-Jo.

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

I miss that new planet smell.

"Mm, you smell terrif- ... no, wait. That's me."

"To compensate for the immediate depreciation of your new car, you get a year's supply of new car smell aerosol spray."

"Sometimes, you have to stop and smell the roses, as well as the other flowers, and the bushes, and the trees, and the sidewalk, and the fire hydrant, and the trash on the side of the road..."

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

"Pew researchers!"

"I don't understand, the advert said that that aftershave would have women falling over me!"