Nutrition Rebels Pillows

"They replaced all the soda with bottled water!"

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Chocs away.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Dieting is for losers.

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

Diet Enforcer

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

'After 25 years of research we've concluded that you should just eat, drink and be merry.'

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"I used to be a vegetarian, but I fell off the meat wagon."

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

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