Nutrition Rebels Pillows

"They replaced all the soda with bottled water!"

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Chocs away.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Dieting is for losers.

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."

Diet Enforcer

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

'After 25 years of research we've concluded that you should just eat, drink and be merry.'

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"I used to be a vegetarian, but I fell off the meat wagon."

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