Nutrition Rebel Pillows

Dart Training School - "The Right nutrition is vital. I want you on lager and chips until the competition."

"All these healthy eating edicts and chew twenty times...I'm fed up to where my back teeth used to be!"

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

Any time is cake o'clock

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

These upside-down tomato planters simplify everything. But, dad. Mother nature wants plants to grow upwards. Sez who?

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

Attack of the 'health' foods

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"It's improv night."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Spaghetto

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Dieting is for losers.

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

"We tried healthy birthday treats. That lasted about a week."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

The B1 Vitamin Bomber

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."