Nutrition Guideline Followers T-Shirts

"It's empty because the health department banned everything inside the box."

All Natural Nothing

Dog Crossing

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'That's our corporate ladder.'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

American Bombs

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Speeding Forklift

"Until you're top management, Warrick, I strongly suggest you stay within the lines."

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

She didn't know when her baby climbed onto the prize pile, but she could never turn her back on the international Carny code of law.

If Bush Had Told Us the Truth After 9/11

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

An Arm and a Leg.

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

'Great news, Mr President You've been nominated for the Nobel War Prize'

Foreign policy

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

Angel with speed camera.

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Poppa, can you read me the Riot Act again?"

'...so until you get your own place - you live by our rules!'

"Oh-now I see where we part company. You are cleaving unto the spirit of the law, while I am cleaving to the letter of the law!"

'Now you tell me you've gone vegan?'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'He had it coming to him - he didn't follow government guidelines.'