Nurturing Ninja Pillows

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"I'm so good at this!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding Faces'

"Quick! ...Do it now!"

Woman Breast-Feeding Two Babies & Third Child Sucking Breast-Shaped Ice Cream

'It's hard to believe that at home, she's a mommy.'

'She doesn't have a fever...I can't see a rash...but she's miserable! maybe we should take her to urgent care.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Fitness Programme for babies

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'