Nurturing Ninjas Pillows

"Wanna swap?"

'I know she hasn't turned out well but there's no sense in us BOTH feeling guilty about it.'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You're overfeeding that baby."

The Jeopardy of Progress

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Hi-yah!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I'm so good at this!"

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

Dieting Motivation.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'Ugh Not Again!'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

The Arabian version of a sandpit,kids playing on grass in the desert.

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

A Complex Carb.

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

Whole foods versus 'hole foods'.