Nurturing Dad Gifts

"I think formula should be bottled-up, but not your emotions."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'So this is goodbye then!'

Skateboard

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"Delia, there is no such thing as the boogeyman. Now climate change … that is real."

Dad's home

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'

New dad.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"...For most of us, work has become home, and home has become work!"

Father's Day

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

'We'd better go home, Jimmy. We're driving your mother up the wall.'

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

Timber!

'I'm all into recycling, but I won't miss mom's regurgitation thing one bit!'

'I would like to have a little talk with both of you!'

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Father's Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. She's tired in bed so I'm on 24/7 kid duty. I haven't left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Father's Day, my loving wife granted me ten flee

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

"You haven’t earned this."

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

'Maybe tomorrow.'

Father's Day

"Mommie!"

'So much talent in the world, and not nearly enough roles for grandmas.'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

Mother cradling baby.