Nurturer Of Nostalgia T-Shirts

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"They must be from a time when it was safe to meet in the park at night."

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

The Music Box

Benjamin Bunny re-writes Beatrix Potter

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

Fade to black...

"At least the anti-public education folks haven't started to try to dictate what we can have for lunch."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"I once experienced childlike wonder. . . but it was just my anti-depressants kicking in."

'You take that back! My mom is too a virgin.'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

Skipping

'We had a full and frank exchange of views, and then I bopped him.'

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

"I bet you miss your brother."

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

"Who knows the words to the theme song of the United States?"