Nursery Nerd Pillows

Batman's Baby

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Coping with a strong-willed child

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"They look so young and helpless."

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'