Nursery Narratives Pillows

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

If you're happy and you know it...

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'And you're telling me this, why?'